Walk Around Naked, Go Ahead.

If you know me at all, you know I want to eventually get married.I’ve never doubted my desire to do so, like a lot of people, I just always assumed I would.  As I approach the elderly age of 25 next month (December 10, gifts of all types will be accepted), I am always making comments about how marriage time is ticking, as is my biological clock.  You can imagine how many potential suitors I have seeing as how most guys in their 20′s are extremely turned on by women who point out the wedding dresses they like and gush over baby clothes.  Eh, it is what it is.

Well, originally I was going to research different reasons women were single and counteract those with reasons I would prefer to be married.  However, while researching, I could not find any honest, for real, all joking aside, articles or lists that were serious reasons women preferred to stay single.  But, let me just tell ya, there were so many articles and sites dedicated to letting men know why they should stay single.  Of course…because all women are SOO evil and impossible to live with. Cue the rolling of eyes please. There was one site in particular that displayed “The Big of The Benefits of Bachelorism”.  I found some of them, well most of them, to be ridiculous, so as usual, I would be honored if you, the reader, would let me share my thoughts with you. I am not going to list all 101, because I know you all have lives, so I will just list my faves.

1. The only person you have to dress up for is your boss

Dude, if you want to look like a scumbag, that’s all you. And probably the reason you are single in the first place.  Maybe your boss will date you though?

 

 

 

2. You never have to ask for permission to orgasm. 
I’m not a guy, so maybe I am out of line here, but I rather have actual sex and wait for my partner to have an orgasm any night than not have to ask for permission because the only womans voice you hear is the chick in the porno.  Eh, maybe I am wrong.

 

3. You decide what to shave and when.

This one really got me. Let me see a reaction if I went to have sex with any guy and there was any hair, aside from the hair on top of my head, on my body.  I love how it is okay for guys to talk about how much hair they are willing to accept on a girls vag-il-area but if you even request a guy trim facial hair because it is leaving visible scratches on your face, all of a sudden we have crossed into “no-females-allowed” territory. Spare me.

4. You can walk around naked whenever you want.

I am starting to think maybe this list is referring to a relationship between family or something.  I don’t really care if we live together and/or we are dating and you walk around the house naked. My only request, outlandish as it may be, is that you cover up your penis if my family and/or friends are over.

 

5. You can fall asleep anywhere and not hear about it in the morning.

If we are married, I don’t mind where you fall asleep.  You won’t have to hear about it in the morning.  You won’t be able to…the locks will be changed.

 

6. You don’t have to worry as much about the “oops, I’m pregnant factor”.

This one is correct. There is no risk of pregnancy with masturbation.

7. If you want to go for pizza at 3am, no one stops you or asks why.

This is a perfect example of how close minded the creator of this is.  Most girls I am friends with would just make sure their guy made sure to bring something home for them also. I am included in this.

 

8.  The cute secretary is fair game.

Let’s review, you dress for no one but your boss, you don’t want to shave ever and you seem to prefer masturbating over actual sex.  The secretary doesn’t want you. Trust.

 

 

 

9.  You can throw yourself into bed and snore without dire consequences.

I actually snore extremely loud. You would just borrow some of my breathe right strips.

 

 

10. Married people are fatter, on average, anyway.

I’m not married and I am fat. King Me.

 

 

 

 

When reading this list, the last person that the writer must have dated was obviously a raging, stereotypical, control freak of a woman. Most women actually do not care about most of this list.  Throughout the course of the next week I will be tearing apart the entire list on the blog. So stay tuned! Until then, I hope you enjoyed another eye opener as to how women are looked at as evil wenches who try to control all men! My pleasure, as always!!!